The interesting insight today came from this podcast: https://curiosity.com/topics/according-to-a-harvard-psychologist-people-judge-you-based-on-two-criteria-curiosity/. Naturally, I am an awkward introvert. I heard direct feedback about my “strange”, “weirdo” behaviors from my team members and colleagues before. The naive me 5 years ago totally thought people may not notice that I avoid looking to their face in the corridors, yeah
(There are) two questions you’ll immediately ask yourself — and answer — upon meeting someone new:
– Can I trust this person?
– Can I respect this person?
In psychologist speak, asking yourself those questions is a way to gauge a person’s warmth and competence, respectively. The goal is for someone to answer two resounding yeses to those inquiries. But, according to Cuddy, people usually think competence is the more important factor, especially in a workplace setting. Not so fast — it’s better to nail the warmth before business acumen. “From an evolutionary perspective,” Cuddy writes, “it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.”
Consider a coworker who is great at his job but cold as ice around the office. That’s off-putting, right? “If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative,” writes Cuddy. “A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”